a daily dose of a dad, geek and wannabe superhero
The little baby you see here is not a baby anymore.
She is 8 years old today!
I cannot believe my baby girl is 8. She is growing up fast and is so smart and mature. She’s my first baby girl and I love her so much. I am so proud to be the father of such a wonderful girl.
Happy Birthday Sweetie! Daddy loves you.
8 I said!
No, not my job. Tobacco products. In particular, cigars. Oh how I loved smoking my cigars. It was my “thing.” My one escape from the world and it’s relentless pressures. My cigar habits were not the expensive Cuban kind, but the corner store, poor man’s cigars. As not to promote nor advertise, I shall refer to them as the Whack and Wilds. I used to enjoy at least one Whack and Wild a day. But when shit hit the fan last year, I was blazing through 5 a day. I won’t lie like Mr. Bill. I inhaled from time to time. It was awesome as any addicted tobacco user would admit to.
Anyway, I knew of all the health risks…yada yada. But I used other things going on in my life as an excuse to keep smoking Whack and Wild’s. Yes, my kids knew I smoked Whack and Wild’s and they hated it. I would sit on the patio and make them stay in the house. I did not like doing that but I did not want them exposed to the smoke.
So what made me stop the Whack and Wild’s? First and foremost, me. I want to be a better me. Secondly, my youngest N, yelled at me last week. I was out on the patio enjoying a Whack and Wild when she called for me. I walked in and she yelled, “Daddy, when are you going to stop smoking?!?” It hit me. She was really pissed off.
It’ll be 7 days this Saturday since I had a Whack and Wild. I am doing great. I feel awesome and I can smell bear shit a mile away. I’ll be getting back in the gym as well. Also, in the last 7 days, I have saved almost $30. That’s about $120 a month I was spending to kill myself with the Whack and Wild’s.
I’d rather take that cash to spend on my mid-life crisis.
Vroom. Vroom.
…double hairstyling duty. I often struggle with this because, “Daddy! What are you doing?!? My hair looks crazy like that! You’re not doing it right!” Drama.
...there will ALWAYS be fashion issues. Simply getting up in the morning and getting dressed is never going to happen. Picking out clothes and shoes will always been an event. An epic one.
…everything is a competition. I am sure this happens with boys too, but with far less drama and tears.
…that at this age, everything has to be pink or purple. I swear it looks like some Oompa Loompas threw up in their closets. Pink and purple stuff everywhere.
…that one day they will be dating. I’m not sure how I will handle this. Extensive background checks and the purchase of a sniper rifle might remedy this. Look out boys. I still have my jungle and desert cami’s from my military days. And they still fit…well.
…that one day they may eventually get married. This means I will have to flip the bill for two weddings. Retirement? What the hell is that?
… double the amount of love and kisses I get from them.
Having two daughters is not so bad after all.
Sometimes it takes a real kick in the ass to put things about life into perspective. Over the past year, life was seriously kicking my ass, but some how I managed to keep going and not give up. Those experiences have left me deeply humbled. Here are a few things that I have learned and most of them I will continue to live by.
1. Money CAN contribute to happiness. And what I mean by happiness is being able to afford a decent roof over my kids’ heads, having good food on the table and having a safe place for them to play, feel comfortable and be happy. Money is needed for these things, therefore money is a factor in the equation of happiness.
2. Unless I win a multi-million dollar lottery, I will never be financially wealthy. But come to think of it, I am wealthy. I have a wealth of family and friends that I can turn to for emotional support. And most importantly, I have two beautiful little girls that provide me with a wealth of laughter, joy and diva drama. Therefore, I AM wealthy.
3. I DON’T need a BMW, a 4,000 sq. foot house, and a vacation home in Lake Tahoe. My Ford truck and small house will suffice.
4. You CAN live on the bare minimum. Minimal usage of electricity, gas and other consumables. I’ve made $5 stretch an entire week. It was tough, but I did it.
5. Work is…. work. I have finally realized that I am one of few people that actually enjoy what they do for a living. Granted, I’ll never get rich from being a graphic designer, but how cool is it to get paid to make things pretty?
Like I said, life changing events can make a person “wake up and smell the coffee” as they say. The events in my life have made me, and will continue to make me, better, stronger, and faster.
Things are in perspective now. I am focused. *fists on waist as cape blows in the wind*
Stay tuned…
I just wanted to give a special thanks to all of my friends that have supported me, laughed at me and with me for the last few rough months. You guys are awesome and I am grateful for being in the company of such cool people.
My special thanks goes to (in no particular order):
Thanks again everyone for being super friends.
An increasing amount of people have been inquiring about my marital status, so I have decided to just make a post on my blog to bring light of the current situation. Many people have probably figured it out by now, but I am no longer married. Well, technically still married but the final divorce proceedings are on hold due to my current financial woes. For those who know me, I have been working tirelessly to improve the flow of income. Was I trying to hide it? Nope. What’s over is over. I see no need to dwell on it everyday.
I don’t feel the need to go into any juicy details because at this point, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is picking up the pieces and moving forward to survive, become a better person and first and foremost, be the best father that I can be. *dusts off cape* My soon to be ex wife and I had a good 7 year run, but after many struggles, we both came to the conclusion that we just didn’t need to be married anymore.
Am I angry and hurt? Not anymore. It took some time, but I am over the bitterness and anger. It makes no sense and it’s not productive. Also, how can I be angry at the woman that gave birth to our beautiful daughters? I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. Am I disappointed? Yes, I think we both are in some way. Am I glad to be single again? Hell, no. I struggle with the single parent thing at times, but it’s OK since my ex and I share custody of the girls. We still communicate almost daily and keep each other in the loop when it comes to the kids and their well being. They are the priority. Having great family and friends has also helped along the way. Humor is also a great coping tool for me. Will I ever marry again? Probably not. I don’t like dating. That whole “getting to know you” thing sucks. I pretty much let people know who I am up front. Hence, a DadUnmasked.
The comments option is on but I’m not looking for pity, sympathy nor advice. The divorce has been in the works for almost a year now, so I’ve pretty much heard it all.
This is my life now and as my friend @JonathenBrown so frankly stated, “It’s not how I designed it, but that’s how it worked out.”
Stay tuned…
