dad unmasked

My daughter, S and N never seem to get used to our morning routine. It’s never drama free, but we manage to get out of the door on time every morning. Here’s a typical morning at the DadUnmasked lair.

5:15 am: The alarm clock clock goes off. After slapping the snooze button 3 or 4 times, I turn over to see that once again, S and N have infiltrated my bed in the middle of the night. Nothing new there. I grab my robe and head to the kitchen to start the coffee. While the coffee is brewing, I stumble around trying to figure out what day it is. I almost always have to check the calendar. I know, I’m getting old.

After grabbing that first cup of joe, I wander the house looking for my glasses and eye phone. I also start up the laptop to check cnn, twitter, facebook, emails, etc., By now, the dog is ready to be let out. I grab a second cup of coffee and try to slip in any work I might have on the side.

6:30 am: The girls are still asleep while I shower and shave.

6:55 am: I grab my third cup of coffee and check Twitter again.

7:00 am: The fun begins. The girls whine and moan non stop. “I don’t want to get up!” “I’m tired!” “Leave me alone!”

7:10 am: After several warnings, the girls are up, grumbling and moaning, while brushing their teeth.

7:15 am: The girls are wide awake and are ready to get dressed. S, who is 7, carefully picks out her outfit being sure everything matches.

7:20 am: I attempt to help N, who is 4, pick out an outfit for school. The response is always, “Daddy, I can dress myself!” Not wanting any more drama, I leave the room.

7:30 am: I prepare S’s lunch and get them breakfast. I check Twitter again.

7:35 am: N runs out of her room. She always says, “Look Daddy! I dressed myself! Do I look pretty?” My response, “Of course sweetie, you are ALWAYS pretty to me.”

Yesterday, I picked up my girls, S and N, from school to take them to get their flu shots. They knew they were going to the doc, but I hadn’t quite told them about the shots. I was expecting some serious drama once I dropped the bomb though. Here’s a small part of our conversation on the way to the pediatrician.

N: (the 4 year old): “Daddy, are we getting shots?”

Me: “Yes, just one, but it’ll be really quick.”

N: “Hmph. I don’t like shots.” (bottom lip drooping)

S: (the 7 year old): “But we have to get flu shots so we don’t get sick! Right Daddy?”

Me: “That’s right. And we must wash our hands often, don’t share cups with friends and cover our mouths when we sneeze or cough.”

N: “And we can’t pick our noses like my friend Holden. He picks his nose and eats the stuff from it.”

S: “Ewwwwwww! That’s gross!”

Me: “You’re right N. We don’t pick our noses.” (trying not to laugh)

S: “Daddy, will the shots hurt?”

Me: “Not really. It’ll be so fast you won’t even notice anything. Anyway, when we’re done, we’ll go to the mall.”

N: “Yayyyy! I love the mall so much!”

S: “Yes! I want to go to Macy’s! Can we buy something?”

When we were finally called to see the nurse, S decided that she wanted to go first. She jumped up on the table and raised her sleeve. I’m thinking “Yes! No drama!”

Nope. As soon as S sees the the needle, drama.

S: “Awwww, wawwwww! No!” (as I reach out to hold her hand)

The Nurse: “That’s it. We’re done.”

S: “What? That didn’t even hurt!” (looking surprised)

Me: “OK N, it’s your turn.”

N: “I don’t want to.” (quiet whiny voice, tears starting to flow)

Me: “Come on, it’ll be quick like your big sissy’s turn.”

I reached done and picked her up. She held me tight and the nurse quickly gave her the injection.

N: “That’s it Daddy? Is there blood” (wiping tears and trying to inspect her arm)

Me: “There’s no blood sweetie. You’re fine. So who wants to go to the mall?”

S and N: “Meeeeee!!!!”

Like I said, the mall heals all.

My youngest daughter, N, is now in the Pre-K program at her daycare. During the summer, she was very excited to be starting “big girl” school. Well unfortunately, she hasn’t been acting like a big girl lately. Last week, she got in trouble for biting another kid. Yes, she is 4 and bit another kid. Not once, but twice in the same day. Nothing burns my ass more then to be notified that my child is the new school vampire. N’s teacher, Ms. B, also told me that they keep a list of who has not been good listeners and N has been put on it a few times that week. Great.

When N saw me that day, she knew she was in trouble. Down went her head. After signing two incident reports and talking with Ms. B, I looked at N and pointed to her teacher. She knew what that meant. N slowly walked over to Ms. B, gave her a hug and apologized. During the drive home, I didn’t say a word to N. I glanced in the rear view mirror and I could see her sad little face watching me. She knew I was upset with her. Silence is golden.

When we got home we had a quiet dinner and N was told to remain in her room until she was given the OK to come out. She sat quietly in her room. I think the silent treatment was doing the trick.

After about an hour, N was allowed out of her room. We talked about her behavior at school. She knew what she had done was wrong. We talked about “the list” and she promised to always be a good listener and student. She also promised to put away her fangs until Halloween. This week has been a good week so far. Every day N has greeted me with “Daddy, I didn’t make the list!” Awesome.

So today was the first day of school. I must admit, I was dreading back to school and the mind numbing traffic that comes with it. But surprisingly things went very smoothly.

The girls were up bright and early.  S, who is starting 1st grade, was the first one dressed. She was ready with her new, over-the-shoulder school bag. We endured the crowds of WalMart hell yesterday to get it because apparently backpacks are SO last year. N, who is starting Pre-K, was the last to get up but she was dressed in no time. She was ready to be a “big girl” and go to school. No fussing, no complaining, no drama. I had to relish the moment because this is a rarity in our house.

Dropping the girls off was a breeze as well. N gave me a kiss and said “bye-bye Daddy.” This is a far cry from the usual peeling her off of me and running for the door. S, well, she is always easy to drop off. I signed her in and gave her a kiss goodbye. I can no longer walk her to her table, because according to S, “Daddy, I’m in 1st grade now, I’m not a baby.” Note taken.

The commute to work was smooth as well. Traffic was light, the Geico squirrels slept in and I only got flipped off twice.

Today was a good day. If only everyday could be the 1st day of school.