dad unmasked

My girls, S and N have been revising their Santa wish lists for at least 8 months now. Every time they see a new toy in a magazine or hear an insane commercial, something gets added or taken away from list. Last night, we found the “Official Santa Wish List” note pad and decided to finalize them once and for all.

N’s Wish List (the 4 year old)

1. “A baby doll that can talk, poop and pee.” Lovely.
2. A new scooter “because mine is old and busted!” It works just fine.
3. A new bike “because mine is a poopy baby diaper bike and it’s too small!” It is rather small but I’m not sure about the poopy diaper thing. ????
4. Matzi Girls – I have now idea what that is but it sounds expensive.
5. A laptop “because sissy wants one!” Figures.
6. Clothes “because I’m a fashion girl!” Make that drama girl.
7. Books “but not a lot of books because I already have a lot books.” Tell me something new.
8. A Christmas gift card to Target because “I love Target!”

S’s Wish List (the 7 year old)

1. A laptop “so I can play games and email my cousins.” I don’t think she’ll be getting an email address anytime soon. But we’ll see about the laptop.
2. Zhu Zhu Pets “because they are SO cute!” And they’re hard to find and expensive. Wait. Do they poop and pee?
3. New DS games “because I can’t find the other $372 worth of DS games that I lost.” Fail.
4. Littlest Pet Shop toys. So she can lose all of them like the rest.
5. EZ Bake Oven. Because there’s nothing like baking a cake with a 40W light bulb.
6. A guitar learning book “so I can learn to play the one I got last year.” Dust collector.
7. Barbie Doll’d Up Nails B-Nails Digital Nail Printer $180??? Ummm…no.

So that’s it. The lists are FINAL. I think.

Happy Holidays.

1. There will be drama every single day. Except for maybe the first day of school.

2. My kids love me unconditionally. They don’t care about any of my flaws.

3. The money in my wallet is not mine. It’s my children’s. I’m just the walking ATM.

4. Sleep is a luxury. It is no longer a necessity or a right.

5. Parenting has made me into a blubbering fool at times. It’s OK for a superhero to cry right?

7. I learn from my children to be better, stronger and faster. See #2.

8. Sometimes I think my children secretly work for the Taliban on the weekends. See #4.

9. Braiding hair is not as easy as it looks. Really.

10. Beer is dear, but liquor is quicker. See #1.

So what have you learned thus far?