So I guess I’m back “on the market” because I have truly moved on from my previous marriage and I believe I am ready to pursue a relationship with another woman. I am not looking to get married again, but female companionship would be pretty cool right about now. I have to admit though, I despise dating. I never liked it even when I was younger and before I was married. Here are the top 5 reasons why I dislike dating…especially in the 21st century.
5. Getting to Know You. I dislike the “getting to know you” phase. I am no longer a mysterious man. I went through the wanna-Prince phase in high school. I will let a woman know who I am on the first date. I have nothing to hide. OK. Maybe a few gray hairs here and there but I’m also not saying a lady needs to show me everything on the first date either. I have a good imagination. I’ll figure out what she’s hiding. I know what shapewear is now.
4. Cliche Dating Profiles. Walks on the beach? Reading a good book by candlelight? Gazing into your dates eyes? Please. No one does that and it’s usually found out quite quickly on the 1st phone call.
3. Smoke and Mirrors (aka Online Pics): a visual misrepresentation of what you look like. I know…I know. It’s not on the outside it’s what on the inside…blah, blah blah. Let’s be real here. Men are visual creatures. There is no denying that. We all, including myself, have our own self perceived notions of what we think we look like to others. In my mind, I feel like I’m 6’3″, 210 lbs, muscular with a full head of hair. In reality, I’m 5′ 6″ tall, 43 year old man with a thin, semi muscular body and a balding head. (But I ‘m a wannabe superhero so it’s OK to think this so there’s that). Now, why in the hell would I set anyone up , especially a potential future companion, to believe I am something else? My point is, I dislike lying, dishonesty or misperception, unintentional or not. There are too many people out there in the “dating pool” being deceiving.
2. My Kids: My daughters are my world and I have to…no, I must lead by example. I refuse to have a revolving door of relationships with random women and subject my kids to that. I want my kids to know that relationships between 2 people can be healthy and monagamous. My kids have dealt with the breakup of their mom and dad and I don’t want them to have to deal with it again. At least not during their childhood. I don’t want to see a different woman every other week. Wait. That’s why I got married… Anyway…
1. Me and My Ways: Please see #5. I am the most honest person anyone would ever know. I’m 43 years old and pretty set in my ways. I like beer, fishing and comic books. I like to laugh and tell jokes. I’m silly yet responsible. I have 2 beautiful girls and do not want anymore kids even though I think kids are awesome. I want to be one again. Sometimes. There isn’t much of me that is going to change. However, I think I am an awesome dude that can rock a special lady’s world again someday.
I am DadUmasked, I am a grown man (believe it or not) and I approve this blog post.
Peace and hyperspace.