dad unmasked

…in no particular order.

1. My 2 daughters. They keep me in check and give me a reason to keep on going when life starts kicking my ass. They are my kryptonite.
2. My job. I am very fortunate to even have one again after being laid off.
3. My close friends that are there for me.
4. My family for being non-judgemental of me over the years.
5. Apple. My entire career has been inspired and shaped by this incredible company for the past 17 years.
6. My Mom for being able to maintain a good balance of being my parent and good friend.
7. My health thus far. So far good so good. Well according to my doc. *turns head and coughs*
8. Feeling free of any anger, hate or guilt that I might have felt over the years.
9. Beer. Because it’s SO good. That’s why.
10. Technology. Without it, you wouldn’t be reading this.

What are you thankful for?

About a month ago, my oldest daughter, S, and I were watching a show on skydiving. I told her that I wanted to skydive one day and she quickly said that she did too. Well, I am pretty sure there are laws against throwing 9 year olds out of planes so I researched indoor skydiving. I found a place in town and told my daughter about it. She was very excited and told me that’s what she wanted to do for her birthday. So we did.

From the time we got to the facility, until the time we left, my daughter could not stop smiling.  After a brief training demo, we suited up and lined up in the flight tube for our first flight. When S was next in line, I asked her if she wanted me to go first. She looked up at me, smiled brightly and shook her head “no.”  At that moment, I felt that I was doing something right. This kid was fearless. She flew like the superhero that I always wanted to be. That day, she was MY superhero with no strings attached.

9 years ago today, my first baby girl was born. It was a day I will never forget. My special message to her is this:

Sweetie,

Not only are you beautiful, intelligent and gifted, you are MY daughter. You mean so much to me and I am so proud that you are here with me.

Happy Birthday and I love you,

Daddy

Being divorced, I don’t get to see my kids everyday. I struggled with this for a very long time. It’s been over 2 years of being single again and at times, I do have somewhat of a hard time not seeing my kids on a daily basis. It’s gotten better over time, but when I get really bored, I miss them. A lot. They are changing and growing so fast and I feel like I’m missing something if I don’t see them for a few days out of the week. But it could be worse. Some dads only get to see their kids once a week, month or year. I have to endure 3 days. It’s like when they are not with me, it feels like I am no longer a father for a few days. Like it was a part-time gig and the only time I have any influence on their well being is when they are with me.

But then again, I look at it like this, when I am with them, I am their father. When they are not with me, I am still their father. I think about them, worry about them and and love them just as if they were with me everyday. This, to me, sounds like ALL of the time. Full-time. Full-time Dad.

What do you think? Am I a part-time dad?

This journey I’m on, this life I live as a man and a father, has taught me to never say never.

This is why. I never thought…

1. … I’d be a father. Let alone a father to 2 awesome, sweet, beautiful girls.
2. …Being a fathers at times, is extremely difficult. As my kids grow, parenting becomes even more challenging.
3. … I’d be 40 something. WTF is up with that?
4. … I’d be divorced at 40 something. Again, WTF is up with that?
5. … I’d ever be unemployed. I’ve been working since I was 16 years old and never been without a job. I was recently laid off but was able to get another job fairly quickly.
6. … Watch a movie about Justin Bieber with one of my daughters. Refer to #1.

Like the Beav says, Never Say Never.

S=The 8 year old  N=The 5 year old.

10. S: When is it Christmas again?

9. N: Daddy. Why is your hair turning grey? Are you an old man?

8. S: I don’t want THAT for dinner! I want spaghetti!

7. N: I have to go potty! (This is either when we first get in the truck or at a filthy place like Chuck E. Cheese or the flea market.)

6. S: I don’t want to go to the park! Parks are boring! Everything is boring! (Can’t WAIT for the teen years!)

5. N: Can we get another dog? Ours is old!

4. S: Why do ducks not have teeth? Why does that lady have a blue car? Why do stars shine? Why did the dinosaurs disappear? Why do you like the color green? Why do we burp? Why (insert anything here.) Thank goodness for Google.

3. S: Daddy, it’s 7 o’clock in the morning and it’s Sunday! Why are you still sleeping?

2. N & S: When are we going to get there? Oh my gosh!

1. N & S: Daddy, I’m full with dinner. Can I have dessert?

I’m sure there will be more in 2011.

Happy New Year

Teaching my 5 year old to ride without training wheels. She’s almost there.

The little baby you see here is not a baby anymore.

She is 8 years old today!

I cannot believe my baby girl is 8. She is growing up fast and is so smart and mature. She’s my first baby girl and I love her so much. I am so proud to be the father of such a wonderful girl.

Happy Birthday Sweetie! Daddy loves you.

8 I said!

THIS is why I enjoy being a dad. My oldest, S, gave me a few early Father’s Day gifts. Go ahead. Grab a Kleenex. I did.

5 years ago today, I welcomed my 2nd beautiful angel, N,  into this world. I remember it vividly when I got to hold her for the first time. This is just a quick post to say Happy Birthday to my baby girl. I can’t believe she is 5 now. I still call her my baby girl even though she always corrects me with, “Daddy, I’m a big girl!” *sighs*

I’d also like to wish my nephew, M, a happy birthday as well. 12 years ago today, my sis gave birth to him. He’s an athlete and a scholar. I am very proud to be his uncle.

Time flies.