The mall heals all

Yesterday, I picked up my girls, S and N, from school to take them to get their flu shots. They knew they were going to the doc, but I hadn’t quite told them about the shots. I was expecting some serious drama once I dropped the bomb though. Here’s a small part of our conversation on the way to the pediatrician.

N: (the 4 year old): “Daddy, are we getting shots?”

Me: “Yes, just one, but it’ll be really quick.”

N: “Hmph. I don’t like shots.” (bottom lip drooping)

S: (the 7 year old): “But we have to get flu shots so we don’t get sick! Right Daddy?”

Me: “That’s right. And we must wash our hands often, don’t share cups with friends and cover our mouths when we sneeze or cough.”

N: “And we can’t pick our noses like my friend Holden. He picks his nose and eats the stuff from it.”

S: “Ewwwwwww! That’s gross!”

Me: “You’re right N. We don’t pick our noses.” (trying not to laugh)

S: “Daddy, will the shots hurt?”

Me: “Not really. It’ll be so fast you won’t even notice anything. Anyway, when we’re done, we’ll go to the mall.”

N: “Yayyyy! I love the mall so much!”

S: “Yes! I want to go to Macy’s! Can we buy something?”

When we were finally called to see the nurse, S decided that she wanted to go first. She jumped up on the table and raised her sleeve. I’m thinking “Yes! No drama!”

Nope. As soon as S sees the the needle, drama.

S: “Awwww, wawwwww! No!” (as I reach out to hold her hand)

The Nurse: “That’s it. We’re done.”

S: “What? That didn’t even hurt!” (looking surprised)

Me: “OK N, it’s your turn.”

N: “I don’t want to.” (quiet whiny voice, tears starting to flow)

Me: “Come on, it’ll be quick like your big sissy’s turn.”

I reached done and picked her up. She held me tight and the nurse quickly gave her the injection.

N: “That’s it Daddy? Is there blood” (wiping tears and trying to inspect her arm)

Me: “There’s no blood sweetie. You’re fine. So who wants to go to the mall?”

S and N: “Meeeeee!!!!”

Like I said, the mall heals all.

10 things fatherhood has taught me thus far

1. There will be drama every single day. Except for maybe the first day of school.

2. My kids love me unconditionally. They don’t care about any of my flaws.

3. The money in my wallet is not mine. It’s my children’s. I’m just the walking ATM.

4. Sleep is a luxury. It is no longer a necessity or a right.

5. Parenting has made me into a blubbering fool at times. It’s OK for a superhero to cry right?

7. I learn from my children to be better, stronger and faster. See #2.

8. Sometimes I think my children secretly work for the Taliban on the weekends. See #4.

9. Braiding hair is not as easy as it looks. Really.

10. Beer is dear, but liquor is quicker. See #1.

So what have you learned thus far?

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